New Roommate

New roommate started moving in in last night - cool guy.

I think this could be a lot of fun!

-full house again jonathon

Soundtrack to My Life

I think that my soundtrack should be calming and contemplative. Right now I'm liking music that puts me in the mood to be happy. Sure I can look back on the past, but I don't feel sorry about myself - my music should reflect that, it should somehow be empowering.

New Slang - The Shins
Where Does the Good Go - Tegan and Sara
Title and Registration - Death Cab for Cutie
Something's Missing - John Mayer
Lost Cause - Beck
Do You Remember - Jack Johnson
Either Way - Wilco
Do You Realize - The Flaming Lips
Sunrays and Saturdays - Vertical Horizon
The Best Deceptions - Dashboard Confessional
I Do - Jude

Not a bad soundtrack...maybe I'll put together something more upbeat next time.

-music producer jonathon

Home Safe

Bay Bridge at midnight in heavy fog on a motorcycle - not my idea of a fantastic time.

But I'm home safe, thankfully.

-home sweet home jonathon

Things better left unsaid

I learned something I really didn't want to learn tonight. I guess I'm happy, but at the same time I've never been more sad...

-ignorance is bliss jonathon

Wurkin...

Client: "Ok, well that's just too much money. We are going to need for you to do it for less, but not lose any of the content of what was agreed upon."


Me: "What, wait - that's not how this works. You don't seem to understand..."



Client: "Just make it happen." *click*


Me: "This job would be easier without clients..."

-under-appreciated account exec jonathon

Lessons Learned

The glove compartment isn't accurately named
And everybody knows it.
So I'm proposing a swift orderly change.

Cause behind its door there's nothing to keep my fingers warm
And all I find are souvenirs from better times
Before the gleam of your taillights fading east
To find yourself a better life.

-License and Registration, Death Cab for Cutie

I can relate to that...the song goes on to tell the tale of faded love and the process of moving forward, dealing with memories, etc. Sounds a lot like my life - I think Death Cab is going to be my new favorite band, they seem to get me.

I'm still in the recovery stage, but I'm doing well and the lessons from all of this are really starting to sink in and take hold - for that I'm glad. I'm glad I'm able to take something positive away from this mess.

I sometimes wish these lessons could have been learned with someone who didn't mean as much to me, but honestly the learnings wouldn't have had the same impact. I realize now that it was important for me to learn these things by losing someone I truly cared about, but with whom there wasn't really much of a future, or so it would seem. I only realize these things now from a 30,000 ft view - I was too close to everything before. I still care about her and always will - I will be forever sorry and regretful for hurting her, but I am glad that she's happy now.

Every relationship I have had has been a little better than the previous. With that in mind I am extremely excited at the prospect of finally finding someone with whom I match in every way. For now, I'm just having fun and trying not to think about everything too much; I'm going back to the "go with the flow" version of me that people seemed to like so much.

Now I just need to convince people that they don't need to treat me with kid gloves anymore. Yes, I still think about the loss, but cut me some slack people, we were together for nearly 4 years! Alright, that should do it for now...

-laid back lessons learned jonathon

Whew!

It's Friday at the end of a very long week, and I'm happy to see it. The weather is nice, I'm cutting out of work early, and I'm going to see some live jazz tonight!

Life is good...today, anyway.

-tgif jonathon

Yay Bacon!

Oh, the things you find when you're in the office by yourself at 7 in the morning.

www.baconsalt.com - Because everything should taste like bacon!

-pulmonary embolism jonathon

Dream State

I find that I've been having trouble sleeping again, not owing to an inability to fall asleep, but rather an inability to stay asleep. Night after night I am assailed by vivid and memorable dreams unlike any that I have experienced before. If dreams are a portal to the soul, then my soul is a truly transparent place - I know exactly what it desires...

It's funny to be experiencing these dreams. Some I can remember, others simply leave me with a feeling - warm and happy, or wistful and somewhat sad. Regardless of the feeling or the memory, it is a complete departure from what my nights used to contain...nothingness. Except for a few nightmares which would wake me from my slumber, I honestly didn't think that I ever dreamt up until about six months ago. There were no feelings, no memories, no takeaways. Now the experience is wholly different and I'm not sure if I like it or not.

Tossing and turning is no way to spend the night, especially if you are asleep dreaming one thing and wake to an entirely different reality... Then again, it's no worse than your boss calling you at 530 AM because an email didn't go through for some reason.

I've always wondered what the office looked like at 6 in the morning...ok, not really.

-wide awake and dreaming jonathon

Sailing

Life is a lot like sailing, one minute you're sailing along in calm and pleasant waters and the next minute a storm comes and sinks your ship. Ok, so maybe sailing isn't that dramatic, but having experienced both extremes of sailing (literally), at least the metaphor isn't lost on me.

After Labor Day I worked 11 days straight with no days off and most days lasting anywhere from 10 to 16 hours. The funny thing is, it was only a month ago I was complaining that, "I didn't have enough to do." Careful what you wish for, buster! We've been busting our butts on an FDA submission which entails creating a heretofore nonexistent program in the span of 30 days - a process that, if done on a normal timeline, would take a few months to put together. Stressed and tired, but pleased with what the team was able to accomplish in such a short span of time.

We were given the weekend to relax before the final push to this Wednesday. So, how did I spend my weekend you may ask? Well, I took advantage of the nice weather and went sailing with my friend Angela. Fortunately, it was a calm day, not one that would sink a ship... I snapped a couple pictures, I hope you enjoy.

There were lots of boats out on the Bay - a great day for sailing

I'm sure that would be a lot of fun if it wasn't for the cold water

Ok, you just have to admit, kite surfing under the GG Bridge is pretty bad-ass

The windsurfers were out too, of course

Angela's feet got a little wet...my legs got soaked (sorry no picture of that)

So we had a really great time and topped off the day with a couple of drinks and some live music at Pier 23. Ah, it's good to relax!

-relaxin jonathon