World Record?!

I have always thought that it would be really cool to hold a world record. You know, be the best person on the planet at doing something...anything. There are world records for the fastest land-speed (currently held by Thrust SSC at 763mph over one mile), the highest altitude parachute jump (though we'll see if this guy can break that), and even the fastest human.

But let's be honest, any of those feats can be accomplished with the right amount of dedication, training, engineering knowhow, or simple will and determination. There are some world records, however, that defy the imagination in ways that surfing an 85-foot wave can't touch...and in some cases can only be accomplished with the correct amount of inebriation.

World record for sheep shearing:
560 in eight hours - Jimmy Clark

Most t-shirts worn at once:
224 - Charlie Williams

Beer speed-drinking record:
1 liter in 1.3 seconds - Steven Petrosino

World's biggest cookie:
102 feet wide and over 40,000lbs - Immaculate Baking Company

Most snails attached to your face for one minute (kinda gross):
8 - Alistair Galpin

Oldest male stripper (very gross):
Age 67 - Bernie Barker

And then there's this guy who currently holds over 80 world records, including Duct taping a person to a wall:
2:38 - Ashrita Furman

So, has this post gotten you interested in setting a record of your own? If so, there is a way to fast track yourself into the annals of human stupidity, er, history - The Guiness Book Fast Track!

If you do decide to go forward with your quest for fame and glory, be sure to contact me so that I can take pictures - I'm sure that they would make another great blog post.

-broken record jonathon