Monday, May 26, 2008

What did I do wrong?

Despite accepting everything that has happened and being generally happy, I feel an aching guilt for hurting someone else so badly. My heart is heavy - I can't believe that I would ever have been so thoughtless to another; I never intended to hurt anyone. I can't believe that I let my own ignorance get in the way of caring for someone.

I am capable of giving happiness to others; I did it for a long time. So why wasn't I able to continue to do so for the one person I cared about more than anything? Why was I such a fool?

What have my hands wrought?

Hurt or Happiness?

An end or a new beginning?

I am to blame for everything that has happened - the trick is figuring out how to seek forgiveness in others and also forgive myself.

-guilty jonathon

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

An unsolicited insider's perspective: You are giving yourself entirely too much credit in this situation. Someday maybe you can come to grips with the fact that you didn't hurt the person you speak of, but you just weren't enough for her and she didn't love you. Thank you for being so inept that someone who was willing to settle for you couldn't bare to do so.