So what's happened?

I'll keep it short. In the past month, we've elected our first black president, Californian's have said "no" to gay marriage, I was hit by a cab on my motorcycle and now have a broken collar bone, I've been antagonized by my clients, and I met a really great new friend.

A lot has happened to me and around me, but where I might have taken it all sitting down before, I'm now ready to fight. Life isn't about what happens to us, it's about how we react to what happens to us.

Look out world, here I come.

-determined to fight jonathon

So, what now?

Ok, so life is good, work is good, things in general (economy aside) are good. So I can't wallow in my own self-pity anymore which is what this blog in many ways became.

That in mind, I need to pick a topic on which I can commentate, update, or pontificate... Anyone got any bright ideas?

-no good ideas jonathon

Just sat on a new KLR650...

...and I think I'm in love. I want mine in red! Cabo 2010 - now I just need a riding buddy, who's in?!

Photo courtesy of: KLR650.net

-dreaming of dirt jonathon

Oh, the 80's...

Remember when this was cool?

Image courtesy of: Stuff that is Relevant

-80's jonathon

Giving Back...

"Thank you for your application, we very much appreciate your willingness to volunteer for a child in need of a Big Brother! We feel that you would be an excellent candidate for our program, however, due to our high volume of applicants, we cannot currently place you. We will work as hard as we can to contact you as soon as we are able to do so.

If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to call me. Again, thank you for your interest in Big Brothers Big Sisters of the Bay Area."

That was 8 months ago - it seems as if I can't even volunteer, geeze...

-no Little Brother jonathon

Now what?

My life lately...

Pissed off

I'm really pissed off at someone for not telling me something.

I appreciate honesty and try to be as honest and open as I can be. I try to be fair and equitable; it would be nice to get the same from others in return. Why can't everyone just be honest to themselves and everyone else?

To be perfectly clear, subtle hints don't count, obvious hints don't count - just tell me, I'm not a mind reader. And if it's a problem we'll work it out. Sure as hell saves a lot of pain and anguish in the end.

-taken enough crap jonathon

New Roommate

New roommate started moving in in last night - cool guy.

I think this could be a lot of fun!

-full house again jonathon

Soundtrack to My Life

I think that my soundtrack should be calming and contemplative. Right now I'm liking music that puts me in the mood to be happy. Sure I can look back on the past, but I don't feel sorry about myself - my music should reflect that, it should somehow be empowering.

New Slang - The Shins
Where Does the Good Go - Tegan and Sara
Title and Registration - Death Cab for Cutie
Something's Missing - John Mayer
Lost Cause - Beck
Do You Remember - Jack Johnson
Either Way - Wilco
Do You Realize - The Flaming Lips
Sunrays and Saturdays - Vertical Horizon
The Best Deceptions - Dashboard Confessional
I Do - Jude

Not a bad soundtrack...maybe I'll put together something more upbeat next time.

-music producer jonathon

Home Safe

Bay Bridge at midnight in heavy fog on a motorcycle - not my idea of a fantastic time.

But I'm home safe, thankfully.

-home sweet home jonathon

Things better left unsaid

I learned something I really didn't want to learn tonight. I guess I'm happy, but at the same time I've never been more sad...

-ignorance is bliss jonathon

Wurkin...

Client: "Ok, well that's just too much money. We are going to need for you to do it for less, but not lose any of the content of what was agreed upon."


Me: "What, wait - that's not how this works. You don't seem to understand..."



Client: "Just make it happen." *click*


Me: "This job would be easier without clients..."

-under-appreciated account exec jonathon

Lessons Learned

The glove compartment isn't accurately named
And everybody knows it.
So I'm proposing a swift orderly change.

Cause behind its door there's nothing to keep my fingers warm
And all I find are souvenirs from better times
Before the gleam of your taillights fading east
To find yourself a better life.

-License and Registration, Death Cab for Cutie

I can relate to that...the song goes on to tell the tale of faded love and the process of moving forward, dealing with memories, etc. Sounds a lot like my life - I think Death Cab is going to be my new favorite band, they seem to get me.

I'm still in the recovery stage, but I'm doing well and the lessons from all of this are really starting to sink in and take hold - for that I'm glad. I'm glad I'm able to take something positive away from this mess.

I sometimes wish these lessons could have been learned with someone who didn't mean as much to me, but honestly the learnings wouldn't have had the same impact. I realize now that it was important for me to learn these things by losing someone I truly cared about, but with whom there wasn't really much of a future, or so it would seem. I only realize these things now from a 30,000 ft view - I was too close to everything before. I still care about her and always will - I will be forever sorry and regretful for hurting her, but I am glad that she's happy now.

Every relationship I have had has been a little better than the previous. With that in mind I am extremely excited at the prospect of finally finding someone with whom I match in every way. For now, I'm just having fun and trying not to think about everything too much; I'm going back to the "go with the flow" version of me that people seemed to like so much.

Now I just need to convince people that they don't need to treat me with kid gloves anymore. Yes, I still think about the loss, but cut me some slack people, we were together for nearly 4 years! Alright, that should do it for now...

-laid back lessons learned jonathon

Whew!

It's Friday at the end of a very long week, and I'm happy to see it. The weather is nice, I'm cutting out of work early, and I'm going to see some live jazz tonight!

Life is good...today, anyway.

-tgif jonathon

Yay Bacon!

Oh, the things you find when you're in the office by yourself at 7 in the morning.

www.baconsalt.com - Because everything should taste like bacon!

-pulmonary embolism jonathon

Dream State

I find that I've been having trouble sleeping again, not owing to an inability to fall asleep, but rather an inability to stay asleep. Night after night I am assailed by vivid and memorable dreams unlike any that I have experienced before. If dreams are a portal to the soul, then my soul is a truly transparent place - I know exactly what it desires...

It's funny to be experiencing these dreams. Some I can remember, others simply leave me with a feeling - warm and happy, or wistful and somewhat sad. Regardless of the feeling or the memory, it is a complete departure from what my nights used to contain...nothingness. Except for a few nightmares which would wake me from my slumber, I honestly didn't think that I ever dreamt up until about six months ago. There were no feelings, no memories, no takeaways. Now the experience is wholly different and I'm not sure if I like it or not.

Tossing and turning is no way to spend the night, especially if you are asleep dreaming one thing and wake to an entirely different reality... Then again, it's no worse than your boss calling you at 530 AM because an email didn't go through for some reason.

I've always wondered what the office looked like at 6 in the morning...ok, not really.

-wide awake and dreaming jonathon

Sailing

Life is a lot like sailing, one minute you're sailing along in calm and pleasant waters and the next minute a storm comes and sinks your ship. Ok, so maybe sailing isn't that dramatic, but having experienced both extremes of sailing (literally), at least the metaphor isn't lost on me.

After Labor Day I worked 11 days straight with no days off and most days lasting anywhere from 10 to 16 hours. The funny thing is, it was only a month ago I was complaining that, "I didn't have enough to do." Careful what you wish for, buster! We've been busting our butts on an FDA submission which entails creating a heretofore nonexistent program in the span of 30 days - a process that, if done on a normal timeline, would take a few months to put together. Stressed and tired, but pleased with what the team was able to accomplish in such a short span of time.

We were given the weekend to relax before the final push to this Wednesday. So, how did I spend my weekend you may ask? Well, I took advantage of the nice weather and went sailing with my friend Angela. Fortunately, it was a calm day, not one that would sink a ship... I snapped a couple pictures, I hope you enjoy.

There were lots of boats out on the Bay - a great day for sailing

I'm sure that would be a lot of fun if it wasn't for the cold water

Ok, you just have to admit, kite surfing under the GG Bridge is pretty bad-ass

The windsurfers were out too, of course

Angela's feet got a little wet...my legs got soaked (sorry no picture of that)

So we had a really great time and topped off the day with a couple of drinks and some live music at Pier 23. Ah, it's good to relax!

-relaxin jonathon

Finding time to write

Work's been pretty busy lately and the only thing that I want to do when I get home is rest. Maybe that's why I've gone from almost 20 posts per month to...um, two?

So here I am sitting on my duff over a long weekend watching a Star Trek marathon all by myself and writing in my blog. Maybe someone will notice.

Anyone listening?

-busy/lonely jonathon

Giving Animation a Try

So here's my first attempt at trying to do animation - let me know what you think.

You can make your own pointless animation at www.goanimate.com

-hanah barbara jonathon

Climb On!

I recently joined Mission Cliffs Gym in the hope to get back in shape and actually have fun doing it. And, after a few weeks of going at least 4 times a week, I have to say that it is working quite nicely. I've not lost much weight, but I can feel myself getting stronger again. Hell, if nothing else, I've got my calloused and blistered hands to show for it...at least I'm out doing things!

The other benefit, is one I frankly wasn't expecting. Friendship, in more way than one. I've met some really nice people there and think that I may even get a few dates out of this place as well. Of course, I'm my typical charming self, but throw in my climbing ineptitude and I'm a real winner...endearing in that clumsy, fall on your butt sort of way. Fortunately, there are any number of cute girls who aren't much better climbers than I am and appreciate the fact that I don't (or can't) show off...

So we'll see how this all goes. If nothing else, it's going to be a hell of a lot of fun!

-climbing jonathon, or sir jonathon hillary

Memories

It's the little things that pop into your mind when you least expect it. The memories like the cell phone alarm that used to wake you when you stayed at her house, the text messages you sent at 6 in the morning and before bed, sending her on a scavenger hunts, or even the time you forgot your anniversary.

The good, the bad, the in-between, they are all there. I try not to think about them, but sometimes it can't be helped, sometimes you have no control over it. But, I cope the best you can and I move on. I don't think it's a problem, and I don't mind them - they are a part of my past.

But the more I think about it now they're becoming fewer and weaker, and I don't know if that is a good or a bad thing. Just because I've moved on with my life, can't I still miss those things that make up these memories? Is there anything there worth hanging onto?

Only time will tell, I suppose.

-memory lane jonathon

One Night vs. A Lifetime

"This is the moment that you know
That you told her that you loved her, but you don't
You touch her skin and then you think
That she is beautiful, but she don't mean a thing to me
Yeah, she is beautiful, but she don't mean a thing to me"

-Tiny Vessels, Death Cab for Cutie

This is the song that I woke to this weekend - it was an interesting soundtrack to a somewhat surreal moment in my life. Have you ever done something that you don't regret, but you aren't necessarily proud of either?

Things aren't different and yet somehow they are; after all, once you cross that line, there is no returning to the way things were before. I don't feel bad about anything, but it just leaves me wondering what kind of person have I become over the past months Have I changed or am I more of the same?

I'm too much of a traditionalist, too much of a romantic to do the other thing. It's tough to be the callous, uncaring, and one night stand kind of guy. I'm not really sure if that's the right thing for me to do; it isn't fair to myself or to anyone else. Frankly, I feel that I want back what I thought I had before.

Love.

-confused jonathon

Wedding Season

I can count at least four people I know who have or will be getting married before the summer is out. One of the most notable being my ex...a mere five months after our split. I guess that should be a sign that things weren't quite right, huh? It got me thinking though about marriage, about what it means to different people.

I've become a little jaded with the idea myself. This is not to say that I'm against marriages, but I don't think that they are the end-all and be-all of a relationship. Take that lesbian couple who got married after CA legalized same-sex marriages. They had been together for 55 years; at that point did they really need the government to tell them that it was ok to be together? Does that piece of paper really mean that much to their relationship, that it is somehow validated? I think it was a sham and a publicity stunt myself. You don't need Gavin Newsome to tell you that it's ok to be together... Hell, I don't think government should have anything to do with the institution of marriage, but that's an entirely different topic.

What does marriage really mean, anyway? Look at the staggering number of divorces each year - why go through the trouble? I am completely ok with the idea of love, I am excited at the prospect of feeling that way again, and I am very happy for people who feel it now because it is so wonderful. But what compells us to get married. Tradition? Being shamed by others for not being married? Pressure from parents? Frankly, I don't know, and I'm not 100% sure if it's necessary.

Now this is not to say that I'd poo poo anyone for going through with it. Quite opposite, frankly. I heartily congratulate my friends who have gotten married and wish them all the best of luck and a happy life - that's what we all deserve, after all. But do we need that little piece of paper to say that you love each other...isn't it good enough for each to simply know? Hell, the tax benefits aren't even that great.

Oh well...I'll revisit this idea when I'm thinking about making the leap myself. Until then, I'll stay a little bit cynical. After all, I've earned that right.

Cheers!

-down with marriage jonathon

Seattle

Yep, I'm back. Things at work have been a little busy lately, but I wanted to post up some pictures from my trip to Seattle last weekend. It was good to see friends - thanks to Henley and Whitney for letting me crash at your place - good to see a new place, and great to get out of town for a few days.

Seattle, if you haven't been is a fantastic place filled with a myriad of kinds of people, things to see and do, and apparently weather. Fortunately for me, though, the weather was fantastic. I stayed close to downtown, but was able to venture out a little. I equate Seattle to a cooler version of SF...at least for me - I fell in love with the place.

I know that some day I'll probably end up moving back east, but before I do, Seattle is on my short list of places I'd like to live. As usual, my words can't do justice in describing the pictures I've posted - if you want to see more, go here. Here is what you'll see:

• Pikes Place Market
• Snippits from Bill Speidel's Underground Tour
• A couple nice shots of Mt. Rainier
  
• Discovery Park and lighthouse
• Firemen at the Scott Firefigher Combat Challenge

In short, there's a lot to see and do in Seattle, and I've only scratched the surface. Enjoy.

-globe trotting jonathon

B/W Beach Day

It's been a busy couple weeks so I've been a little lax in updating the blog, but I did go out and do some shooting for a little while yesterday and I thought I'd share the highlights.

Enjoy!

-b/w jonathon

After a Week of Commuting

It's just over a week ago that I brought home my new to me Suzuki GS500. I've got a week of commuting under my belt and I've realized that I never paid as much attention to the road in my car as I do on the motorcycle. Exhilarating and frightening all at once, the drive is an entirely different experience.

I do think that I enjoy driving a motorcycle...which is good, since I no longer have a car. It is definitely a solo pursuit as I do not plan on carrying any passengers for at least a year. I guess I just need to convince my friends to get bikes or make new friends with their own motorcycles...we could have a gang.

-not so motogp jonathon

Shasta Slide Show

So, there weren't any summit shots for me, but the rest are still pretty cool. I'll have to go back next year so that I can see what's on the other side of this mountain...

Enjoy!

To see the full album, visit: http://picasaweb.google.com/j.glazebrook/MtShasta

-channeling ansel adams jonathon

Thursday Traps

I've got nothing important or groundbreaking to add today, so why not finish off the traps? Sound like a plan - ok...well here they are:

Trap #14: The Trap of Fear

I don’t care who you are. I don’t care what you have done in your life. You have been scared. There is not one person one this planet who can truthfully say he has never been scared in his life. There is a nice quote I know. Here it is. “Courage is not a lack of fear, but is acting in spite of it”--Mark Twain. If you let your fears run your life, then your life will have been in vain. Face up to your fears. Look them in the eye and tell them you aren’t a coward. Never back down. You run your life, not your damn fears. Put your chin up and walk straight to your fear, look at it, and just do it. Do the thing that has scared you for your entire life. Just go for it. You are not a coward and you are in control of your own life. Fear is just another one of the many obstacles that stand in the way of living. Don’t let it defeat you.

Trap #15: The Trap of Purpose

We all look for the answer. That is probably why you’re reading this, and it’s probably why I’m writing this. Most of the people on Sosuave.com are looking for a piece of writing or a few words that will change their life. You won’t find them. No one ever has and no one ever will. The answers are not here. The only thing that is here are tools and ideas that can help others find their own answers. You must do everything for yourself. Great things have been posted here and great things will continue to be posted here, but nothing here has forever changed a person’s life. Nothing posted here has given a person all the answers. Searching for all the answers is a lost cause. You won’t find them. There aren’t answers to every question. You have been given the gift of life. Quit wasting it by searching for a purpose and answers to all your questions.

Trap #16: The Trap of Superiority

You aren’t the best. I’m not the best. Accept this. Accept the fact that you will never achieve perfection and that you are not the best and never will be. You do not run the world and you do not own it. You are a part of a whole. All of us are shaping your life. You live amongst us. We have thoughts, problems, and lifes just as complex and diverse as yours. Quit calling people gay, weird, stupid, or any other derogatory names. You are wasting your damn time. You are not the only person on this planet that matters. Deal with it. Quit living in your own little dream world where you and only you matter.

Trap #17: The Trap of Wishing You Were Something

Remember when you were a kid? Everyone told you, “you can be anything you want to be.” Probably by now you have learned that this is a load of crap. You can’t and won’t be everything you want to be. It is impossible. What is misinterpreted is that you have to WORK to achieve something, if you just sit around wishing things will change they never will. Life is about being in the right place in the right time. It is not about what cards you get, but instead how you play the cards you hold. We are all different, but we all have one thing in common. Our dreams of life and happiness will never be completely fulfilled. The only thing you can do is accept this dark and scary fact of life and approach it with a smile and a happy personality. That’s all you can do. Good luck accepting the fact that you will never achieve everything, it takes us all a while to do. If you want to get better at something, then you have to work for it, not "wish" you had it, or could do something. Get working, stop wishing!!!

Trap #18: The Trap of Being “Mature” Instead of Having Fun

I see people do this all the time. You’ll know exactly what I’m talking about too. You know that person who always avoids having fun? Why do you think he/she does this? He/She in his/her little mind thinks he/she is being mature by not having fun. There is a fine line between maturity and having fun. Listen to the Webster definition of maturity. Mature: having completed natural growth and development. Where in the hell does it say anything about having fun? Stop using the excuse, “I’m too mature for that”. You are only making your life miserable. Have fun. Being mature and having fun are two entirely separate issues, but for some reason in our society today, people link the two of them. Don’t be another one of society’s **** ups.

Trap #19: The Trap of Fearing to Get Close to a Person

You have probably been afraid of opening up to a person, as you have probably have met someone who is afraid of opening up to another person. Don’t be afraid. Get close to people. Don’t worry about the pain you might feel if something happens between you two. Get close, enjoy that time you spend close to each other. Sure if you stay away from people, you might never feel pain, but you also will never feel this little sensation called love.

Trap #20: The Trap of Not Looking for Personnel Problems

Every person has flaws. They do not eliminate 100% of their flaws by the time they die either. It is impossible. We look at ourselves and find everything we can possibly find wrong with ourselves and aim to fix it. We do this until we die. Most all of other people do not even believe they have problems. They believe they are fine the way they are, because they can accept a mediocre life. Thinking about living a mediocre life makes me sick, as it should most others. Accept your problems, but ALWAYS try to fix them. “When you reach for the stars, you may not quite get them, but you won't come up with a handful of mud either” --Leo Burnett

Trap #21: The Trap of Lack of Risk

You have to take risks to enjoy your life. Without risk there is no fun. Without fun there is no reason for living. All the life wasted because of depression, suicide, and stupidity makes me sick. It makes me sick that I used be depressed, didn’t see my flaws and didn’t try to fix them, and finally that I didn’t take any risks. I don’t even see how I was so dumb. Take risks, live your life, and just freaking do it. You see? You cannot lose something you never have had. Take that risk and do something exciting, you won’t regret it.

Trap #22: The Trap of Why

Why? Why is one of the most complex words in our language. Without this question humans would have nothing to do. Looking for answers to the question why can keep us occupied, but I believe the question why is an illusion. It holds us back from our lives. Searching for answers is not the way to live your life. You should accept things the way they are. Live. Live your life!!! Stop looking for a purpose, stop looking for answers, and most importantly stop believing all those lies you have heard about what’s normal. Stop worrying, stop analyzing, stop all of your complicated thinking. Close your eyes for a minute and just stop thinking. Then I want you to take a deep breath, click the exit program button, and go out and live your life.

Source of this article: http://www.allananova.com/

Almost There

The chilled wind swept across my face stinging my tear-filled eyes. Tear drops rolled slowly down my cheeks oddly leaving behind a modicum of warmth in their salty tracks. I was sitting in the left route around The Heart just above Avalanche Gulch (two features on the South side of Mt. Shasta), short roped to five other climbers with my knees to my chest in an effort to regain some warmth. Never in my life had I felt more humiliation or sense of defeat than as I sat on that mountain side and watched as other climbers continued by me in their pursuit of the summit. The tears and sadness came easily, the breathing did not.

I don't know why I was so disappointed in not making the summit. Though with all the things that had been torn from my grasp and sent spiraling out of control over the past few months, I suppose that I felt that making the top of the mountain was something that was within in my grasp and that achieving it would somehow make up for all my other losses. Regardless, there I was at about 12,500 ft - the highest I had ever climbed - wading through a sense of depression and helplessness that I hadn't felt in months.

Waking at midnight, we had been climbing for about eight hours before I decided to turn around. It was not an easy decision for myself, but I knew that I was slowing the group down and there was still about three hours of climbing left to make the 14,179 ft summit. If Blair and Brent had any chance of making the top before the turn around time, I knew that I couldn't climb with them any more - I was too weak to keep up the pace. At the time, I couldn't breathe, my head was spinning and pounding, and an overwhelming sense of nausea kept me from moving too fast. All symptoms of acute pulmonary edema; I knew the only way to feel better was to go down. I put my hands up in defeat and started climbing down to another group that was being short-roped to base camp.

The trek down proved to be just as energy-sapping as the ascent. My legs felt like Jello by the time we reached base camp. I curled up in my sleeping bag and slept fitfully for several hours; the pounding headache, labored breathing, and constant coughing prevented me from getting any actual restful sleep. I was woken by one of the mountain guides several hours later to check on my condition - there was some concern as to whether or not I should start my way down to the trail head another 1,200 ft below base camp. I opted to stick around for a while, still feeling too weak to make the hike down. In my tired and weakened state, my mind flitted around, landing occasionally on things that I had no desire to think about. It was all I could do to choke back the sobs - I didn't want others worrying about me more than they already were especially since the tears were no longer pooling in my eyes as a result of feeling as sick as I did.

Around 4 PM I managed to get camp packed up and started down with Eric, one of the guides, and Meera, another climber who had injured her leg. The descent was slow and easy, though I still felt as if my energy levels were well below normal. About an hour after leaving base camp we reached the trail head and parking lot. Not far behind were the other climbers - everyone was worn out, but happy to be back. By the time I had reached the bottom, I didn't know whether to be happy, sad, disappointed, proud, or anything else. I was sad for reasons not related to the climb, I was defeated because of it, and I had a sense of loss that was linked to something else entirely - somehow all of my disappointments and feelings from the past four months had become intertwined and inseparable...

Now, several days later, after getting some much needed rest, I can look back on the experience objectively. I realize that I did my best at the time, but my body gave up on me in a manner not uncommon for a number of climbers who attempt to summit. I climbed higher than I ever had before and I raised money for a great cause. As for everything else, I realize now that my emotions had been assaulted in large part due to my lack of sleep. Maybe it's a cop-out, but I've slept on it all and have once again pushed everything to the back of my mind as best I can and am continuing forward.

Reflecting on everything now, I am proud of myself for trying, happy that I made it as far as I did, and I am determined to go back and defeat the mountain. Shasta isn't going anywhere and neither am I - next time I will make it to the top.

-hypoxic jonathon

Changes. Challenges. Cheers!

Its funny how things can change in an instant. Its funny how I can be sitting on a train a few nights ago alone with my stitched up hand (I've since removed the stitches...) going home to no one and yet still feel as good as I did and still do. Right now, I have my health (relatively), I have my friends (remotely), and REM on the iPod – Shiny Happy People no less – and I don’t need anyone else in my life to provide me these things. For the longest time I had thought that happiness stemmed in large part from what others could bring into your life, and to a certain extent that is true. But to a larger degree, it is one’s own self that creates the true happiness. It’s not that I didn’t know this before, but I relied so heavily on others to provide me with happiness that I had forgotten, or worse, never learned how to make myself truly happy. Despite my actions in the past being perceived as being selfish, I have realized that selfishness wasn’t the motivation – if it was, there is a good chance it would have worked, but it didn’t.

In some ways, losing what I thought was the greatest thing in my life has made me realize that there are so many other great things out there waiting for me. Do I still regret the loss – of course, but it’s not going to rule me…things are looking up for a change. I will always remember fondly the time we spent together, but I’ve been spending more time looking forward to the great times ahead. I have long since moved on from that loss, despite what most people think – sure I still think about it, but that doesn’t mean that I’m dwelling; I’m just trying to learn and grow. And, though, at one time I felt there was something worth fighting for, I now know that there isn’t – at least not what I was originally fighting for. I'll always fight, though; there is always something worth fighting for.

So, while I search for my one thing to fight for, I will raise my glass to give thanks to everything we had, to everything I’ve yet to receive, and offer my heartiest congratulations and well wishes to those I’ve lost and those they’ve found happiness in. I can do this, because for the first time in my life, I’ve found happiness in me…that and I get to climb up a big mountain this weekend! We’ll raise a glass to that one later.

Cheers!

-jonathon, just jonathon

Someone's Got a Case of the Mondays

...and it's me. I was so busy this weekend I barely slept at all - I am exhausted. The sooner this day gets over, the better. My bed is calling my name...loudly!

-fallin' asleep at the wheel jonathon

Easy Rider

Today was the last day of my Motorcycle Safety Foundation class and I am now officially ready to be less of a danger to myself and others on the road! I will probably take my license test after I get back from climbing Mt Shasta. On a side note, I reached my fundraising goal - thanks to all who donated!

The MSF course is split into three days - one classroom course and two days of riding. The classroom course was on Wednesday and scored 100% on my written test - good for me, but it was no indication of how I'd actually ride the motorcycle. I wouldn't find that out till I showed up at the range at 6:45 AM on Saturday.

Saturday and Sunday were spent practicing accelerating, braking, turning, weaving, avoiding accidents, running over obstacles, and various other skills. Frighteningly enough my worst skill was panic stopping, though I was able to finally nail it. Regardless, the two days culminate with the final skills test. For this test you start with a score of zero and must demonstrate all of the skills you have learned - for every mistake you make, you are awarded points up to 20. If you get 21 points, you fail. I scored one point through the entire test and scored highest in the class - yay me!

I actually celebrated a little in advance and bought all of my gear yesterday. Now that I've completed the course, I can go back to the store and they'll refund me 15% of my purchase price - sweet. The other thing I did yesterday, even though I haven't sold the car yet, was to buy a bike. That's right, I am the proud owner of a 2002 Suzuki GS500!

This is the actual bike...it's just still at the dealership in Marin.

I am totally stoked and ready to ride, though I have learned enough to know that I need a little more practice before I start riding to work every day. I pick up the bike in two weeks...anyone want to go riding with me? On your own bike of course - I'm certainly not carrying passengers just yet.

-easy ridin' jonathon

Short Week

I don't know why, but whenever I come back after a long weekend, I never feel quite ready to come back for work. It's almost like, "If we are going to have a three-day weekend, why not make it four? Hell, why not just take off the rest of the week?" Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way and we muddle through the week wishing it was the weekend once again.

But, hey, it's Friday and the weekend is just around the corner. I have big plans this weekend and am very much looking forward to it - how about you?

-working for the weekend jonathon

To Anonymous

Thanks should go to the unsolicited insider whomever you may be for your wonderful insight. I honestly didn't think I could feel any worse about the situation, but thanks to your comment, I now feel much worse.

Don't you think for one instant that I am not good enough for her. I made mistakes which I am doing my best to atone for, and trying my hardest to get over a person with whom I was making plans with for the rest of our lives. Five months ago it was me looking at engagement rings, and it was us planning for a life together. I never stopped loving her (and still haven't), but was too blind to love myself enough to admit my own shortcomings which ultimately cost me everything and hurt a person who I love.

So, to whomever you are, thank you for your hate.

What did I do wrong?

Despite accepting everything that has happened and being generally happy, I feel an aching guilt for hurting someone else so badly. My heart is heavy - I can't believe that I would ever have been so thoughtless to another; I never intended to hurt anyone. I can't believe that I let my own ignorance get in the way of caring for someone.

I am capable of giving happiness to others; I did it for a long time. So why wasn't I able to continue to do so for the one person I cared about more than anything? Why was I such a fool?

What have my hands wrought?

Hurt or Happiness?

An end or a new beginning?

I am to blame for everything that has happened - the trick is figuring out how to seek forgiveness in others and also forgive myself.

-guilty jonathon

Wind

No, not the movie, but actual wind, and lots of it. During my jog yesterday afternoon, I realized that the city had shut down a section of the Great Highway that runs along Ocean Beach because of high winds. Since they don't shut down the whole highway that often, I thought that this might be a good opportunity to get some cool photos. Turns out I was right, and here are the results.

**I'm trying out a slideshow application from Picasa, let me know what you think.**

To see the whole album, click here.

-windy jonathon

Win, Lose, or Draw

So let's recap what's happened in the past three months (give or take):

• Broke up with the girl of my dreams after 3.5 years (lose)
• Moved, kind of, but ended up staying in the house (draw)
• Lost 20 lbs and got into great shape (win)
• Went to the ER because I passed out at work (lose)
• Got a new job and a promotion (win)
• Started IAAS class which took up a lot of my time (draw)
• Went to ER again for a nasty cut on the leg (lose)
• Hit 82% of my fundraising goal and still going (win)
• Won the Best Roller of the Year for season one Brewskeeball (win)
• Car broken into (lose)
• Didn't lose my cool even though the window was smashed out (win)
• Threw a successful "house warming" party for Luisa and Matt's Bday (win)
• Find out that the ex is engaged (draw)
• Find solace in the fact that she is happy, and that's a good thing (win)
  
• Cut the crap out of my finger and end up in the ER once again - five stitches (lose)
• Meet some really nice new friends through all my trials and tribulations (win)
• Got a free ticket to see RENT (win)
• Won IAAS best presentation (win)
• Won IAAS best student (win)
• Got a free ticket on Virgin America to anywhere they fly (win)
  

I am tempted to add up the wins and losses, but that's not what's really important; what's important is how I feel now. Reflecting on these past months and everything that's happened (this list isn't even complete), I actually feel really good about everything, and I feel happy about life (win).

-jonathon, winner

Seasons of Love

How do we measure a year in the life - moments so dear? How do we reconcile all the things that have happened to us, because of us, around us, and in spite of us? How do we find answers or make heads or tails of it all? Funny how a 29-year old named Jonathan had it all figured out - love.

This transcendent ideal is in many ways similar to my musings from a month ago saying that we need to live in the moment, that we need not speed through life at breakneck speed. We need to measure our lives in the little things that happen to us on a daily basis and seek happiness in those little accomplishments rather than waiting for the next big thing to happen in our life. We need to love and live in the moment - the past has already happened, and the future can't happen without now, so what are we waiting for?

I've spent the past few months wondering about what went wrong, what I did, what I could have done, and through all my searching for answers all I could do was cry for what had been lost. All I could do was mourn the fact that I had lost the person who I had held closer to my heart than anyone before. Despite my claims of epiphany and closure, it all added up to nothing, and I ended back in the same spot over and over.

It wasn't until I listened to Seasons of Love and went back and reread that old post that I realized I was doing things all wrong. Now, I know that I loved her to the best of my ability, and despite all the "answers" I've found, I still don't think I could have done any better, and that's ok. She's happy now, and so am I - there is so much going on in my life right now that is exciting and wonderful (mixed with an odd string of bad luck), I can't help but be happy.

I don't need answers, or closure, or to move on, or to do anything other than live and love. I'm doing just that, and nothing else matters - that's how I'm measuring my life.

-lyrical jonathon

Tuesday Traps II

I decided to post these up in threes - who would have guessed that the next three all happen to apply to me and my current situation. Go figure. At any rate, enjoy the life perspective and have a great week!

Trap #11: The Trap of that Perfect Person

You have an idea of a perfect person. We all do. There is no such thing as a perfect man or woman. You must understand that there are so many wonderful person out there that there will be a ton of “perfect” ones. You must keep an open mind when searching for the one, or you will blind yourself of what you really want. That perfect one is just another person, but a person who you have literally forced yourself into loving because you believe you must love anyone who has good looks, rich, nice body, nice cars etc. Keep an open mind while in this world. You’ll find the one, but quit forcing yourself to love.

Trap #12: The Trap of Depression

Don’t even lie. You have been depressed in your life. We all have. We have all had our days. In fact there are many in this world who are depressed right now. Try to remember back to when you were depressed. You actually didn’t want to feel happy huh? You avoided having fun and you avoided smiling. You were trying not to be happy. If you do not make an effort to get out of depression then you never will. You must find it within yourself to love happiness and try to end those miserable feelings. Always fight depression. NEVER let it win. Fight it until you either defeat it or die. Do not give in. If you trust me on this, then you have nothing to worry about and you will feel better in no time at all. This is one of the most common traps.

Trap #13: The Trap of Forgetting Nothing Lasts Forever

Nothing lasts forever. When you enter anything, you must remember that it won’t last forever. Accept this. Do not fear this either. If you do then it will be over and you won’t have spent any of the time you had well. Spend the time you are given well, because tomorrow will come and sometime in the future it will end. The only thing you can do is accept this. When it ends, give it up and move on. That’s all you can do. Good luck, this is a hard trap to avoid.

-jonathon et al.

Saturday Adventure

This one's mostly about the pics, so I'll keep the rhetoric short. Early to rise on Saturday (as in 4:30AM) to make it to the trailhead by 6:30 for a training climb with the ALF folks. The day was gorgeous and the hike was just the kick in the butt to remind me that I only have four weeks left to get that last bit of training in before Shasta.

If you haven't yet donated to the climb, go here.

After the hike, we celebrated Diez de Mayo/New Roommate/Matt's Early Birthday/Mother's Day Eve at the house - definitely a good time. I am still proud of the fire pit; it was a nice touch.

Thanks to all my fellow climbers for the AM, and to all my fellow drinkers for the PM - it was a great day! To see the full albums, go here.

Sunrise off of Highway 84 - nice

Funny story, I swerved to miss this bunny then moved it into the bushes to save it from being hit and felt really good about myself. About a 1/2 mile down the road, I hit a bird that flew in front of me - I guess God really wanted something to die that morning...


The ALF Team


The stoners were out in force that morning...no wait, that's just fog


Putting our river crossing skills to good use


Don't ask how this got on the trail - we were 10 miles from the nearest road...


It was a strenuous 20-mile loop, but the scenery was well worth it.

See the rest of the trip here.

See, I told you the fire was a good idea!


Big Timmy Style


Sure, it wasn't as warm as next to the fire, but the food was there, so...

-cramming too much into one day jonathon

Highs and Lows

Yesterday was to be a pretty good day - I was kept busy at work, I had my last class meeting, and was entered to compete in the Brewskeeball Best Roller of the Year (BROTY) competition. The day went by quickly, the meeting was over in a blink, and I was off to the Buckshot to fight for my place in Brewskeeball Skeeson I history.

I arrived at the bar around 9 expecting that the tournament would soon be starting, but the championship round for the final two teams was only just beginning. This final would pit Skee Fast Lose Your Pass (the team that beat us in the Semis) against The Skee Amigos in what would be a total blow out in favor of Skee Fast. The boys from the Sunday night league dominated the entire match and ended over 500 points ahead of the Amigos by the end.

Well deserving of their victory, they chugged room temperature Miller High-Life from the Brewskee Mug in celebration.

Shortly after the celebration, the BROTY competition started. The BROTY pits the top 24 rollers in the league (as determined by highest rolling average) against each other in a single elimination bracket. I didn't have the score to get a first round bye, but my competitor didn't show up and I was automatically bumped to the second round to face Ken-Dog of Skee Fast Lose Your Pass. By the time we were called to the line, Kenny could barely stand up from the celebrating.  Despite the alcohol in his system, Kenny rolled a solid two frames, but my 310 and 350 put me through to the next round. 

The next round would pit me against Ned from the Skee Amigos - we tied the first round, he won the second, and I won the third. We played the first playoff round of the night as all the other rollers had won in straight sets. In the end, my roll of 290 was enough to beat the 250 of Ned. Moving on to the Final Four, I faced Skee-Zak, a fixture of the Wednesday night league. The battle was fierce, but I took the match in the third round with a 320 roll.

The final round would find me, a relative unknown, against Brover Cleveland of The Broskies - his Goliath to my David. For those that don't know, The Broskies were the team to set the all time rookie season high score in the very first week of competition posting a team final of 961. Brover would roll a 29.3 average in that match and maintained a season average of 28.28. His cool demeanor belied his rolling - he was on fire that night, consistently rolling over 300 in each of his previous matches. Additionally, like myself, he had limited his alcohol intake and maintained a steady hand and smooth form.

This is the only known picture from the BROTY with both myself and Brover
(that's me rolling in the Final Four, and Brover in the brown shirt on the right watching the action)

As I shook his hand, I stared into the eyes of my combatant and saw a quiet confidence which I lacked. Heck, I was happy just to have made it this far, but this was to be a match for the ages. 

I rolled first and opened with a mediocre 280. I recounted to Burchie how early in the season I was happy to break 200 but now that my rolling had improved, anything less than a 300 was a failure - Brover proved me right by rolling a solid 340 right out of the gate. Despite this opening salvo, I resolved to stay in the fight for as long as I could. My next roll would be another average score for this level of competition - a 270. Despite my meager attempt, the skeeball gods were watching over me as Brover matched with a 270 and we would be forced into a third and deciding round.

Not expecting to make it this far in the tournament, I was out of money and had to borrow a dollar from Burchie to make my third roll of the match. Once again I rolled conservatively and ended with a 260, but this turned out to be enough to keep me in the match as Brover was only able to manage a 190 - overtime!  These final nine rolls would determine who would take home the BROTY trophy. 

Once again, I was forced to borrow a dollar just to be able to compete. I stepped up to the line, collected my thoughts and began to roll. 40 after 40 rained down and it appeared as if I was going for a full-circle (all 40s), but then a few missed rolls and I ended the match with a 290.  All I could do then, was sit back and watch.  Brover approached the line maintaining the calm he had shown all night while his fans wildly cheered him on. His first roll, only a 10 - stepping back for only a moment, he quickly collected his poise and re-approached the line.  Then came two 50s in a row as he really turned on the heat. However, another 10 shook his confidence somewhat and he seemed to lose stride and began rolling inconsistently

Down to the final two balls, he would have to hit 50s or 100s to win the match - he opted for the hundos. The first roll fell short and gave him a meager 10 points - I was holding my breath. He closely examined his last ball and set for his final roll. As the ball released from his grip, everything seemed to slow and the room went quiet. The ball hit the ramp and began sailing in a perfect arc towards the left side hundo. The speed, the trajectory, the arc - it all seemed perfect - but the ball sailed over the hundo and bounced off the wall to score a 10 giving Brover a final score of 230. I had just won the BROTY!

Handshakes and congratulations were exchanged and high fives were given by my Sunday night compatriots. I stood atop lane 1 and hoisted the BROTY trophies high over my head in victorious celebration. Flashes popped all around me as I stood there in my moment of glory - it was wonderful. After 126 rolls and $14 dollars - $2 of it borrowed - I would end the night as the best roller in all of San Francisco.

Unfortunately, the celebration didn't last long as I had to head home to get some sleep. I collected the final few high fives and congratulatory handshakes and headed out to my car, reveling in my recent victory, and felt as if nothing could bring me down - I wish I hadn't felt like that.

I climbed into the car and placed my new BROTY hardware on the passenger seat. Closing the door, I noticed that there was a lot more "outside" noise inside the car than there should be. Perhaps I had accidentally left one of my windows cracked? Maybe the door hadn't been shut all the way. Or, maybe it was because my rear passenger window was smashed out - ah, yes, that's it!

I cursed, I got mad, then I got over it...there was nothing that I could do. In the past I would have stayed mad and hit things and probably would have done more damage, but a cooler head prevailed and I just went home.

Despite having my window smashed out and my computer stolen along with my copy of "Into the Wild" (which I had only gotten half way through), I did have my pride and the comfort in knowing that I was still the Best Roller of the Year for San Francisco, Skeeson I, and that's something no one can steal from the back of a 1979 Mercedes 300D.

I slept with my trophies last night...

-jonathon, BROTY, SF Skeeson I

Gearing Up

It's down to the wire now - only one month till my summit attempt on Mt. Shasta. The fundraising is almost complete, but please feel free to donate because I'm not there yet - 76% complete! The only other part of the climb which I hadn't put together was the last bit of supplies for the trip. I have most everything that I need, but having never done any significant climbing at altitude or on glaciers, there were some items which I was lacking.

Well, thanks to REI's Anniversary sale, I was able to gear up with relatively little expense - how exciting for me. I had to buy things like new hiking socks, a headlamp, some waterproof over pants, glacier sunglasses, and even synthetic underwear! I was able to get all of this gear, and even a little more and still manage to get out for around $300! This wasn't money that I really wanted to spend as I've been trying to save money for a change, but at least I didn't have to pay for everything full price!

The only other thing that I got was the book, "Into the Wild" by John Krakauer. I know that the movie just came out on DVD, but I loved reading "Into Thin Air" so much that I had to read the book first. I've only had it for a few days but I'm already half way through - if you haven't read it yet, skip the movie and buy the book, it is amazing.

In a month, I hope to be standing on the summit of Shasta - I'll be sure to write about it...

-climbing jonathon

Tuesday Traps...

I have some free time as I wait for my next appointment and I just realized that it has been a while since I last posted up more of the "traps" from our Filipino friend - so here they are. Hope you enjoy them.

Trap #8: The Trap of Dreams

Dreams are wonderful. Everyone has dreams. Everyone has wished at some point in their life they were someone else, or could do something they can’t do. The power of dreams is a strong one. Chasing your dreams is an act very few of us do though. Most people live in their dreams. Most people are actually content with just dreaming something, and not living it. If you do not chase after your dreams, then your dreams are holding you back. The power of dreams is pretty strong huh? They can guide you through your life, or hold you from achieving anything. Chase your dreams. Go after what you dream about. Unless your dream is to walk and you have no legs, then don’t tell about me about how it could never be. If it never could be, then so be it, but how will you ever know for sure if you never try? At least try to follow your dreams, if you physically cannot achieve them, then at least you tried.

Trap #9: The Trap of False Hope

Some things were never meant to be. It’s a fact of life. Some things you will never have, and never have a chance to get. You must accept this. If you keep living in your wonderland and if you keep thinking that it will happen when you know in your heart it never will, then there goes more time of your life wasted. Believing something that isn’t true may make you feel better, but it will only hurt you in the long run. Accept the truth for what it is. Stop giving yourself false hope.

Trap #10: The Trap of the “Perfect” and “Normal” life

Think about what you want your life to be like. You probably want a house, a nice job, a beautiful wife/husband, maybe a few kids. Who knows. Only you do. We all have these ideas of a perfect life. We all have ideas of how we want our lives to be. This “perfect” little “normal” life is an illusion. You can’t define normal. No one can. Normal is a word used to confuse people into believing something is right. You will never be normal. No one is “normal”. Every person is different and so how can you be normal in a world full of diversity? There is no perfect and normal life. Your life is what you make it. People also mistake the world boring for normal. Spice up your life. “Normal” people have no idea what in the hell they want. This is why they call themselves “normal”. They have been led to believe that what they are doing is the right thing, and that anything else would be “weird”. “Life is a journey, not a destination”--Aerosmith. There is no perfect life, there is no such thing as a normal life, and there is no such thing as the right thing. You and only you can decide these things for yourself.

-jonathon et al.

Thank you, Stu!

I've been busting my hump all day working on some new biz prospecting and planning for the rest of the year on one of my clients. I wouldn't say that I've had a bad day, but I'm simply worn out from the weekend and have just not been in a great mood. However, about an hour ago my mood was changed for the better by an unexpected phone call.

As you may recall from one of my posts a while back, I sold my cruiser on Craigslist to a really great guy named Stu. Well, out of the blue, I get a call from him - he called to say he appreciated the bike and that he had been thinking about me lately. He had reflected on our chat that day and had been thinking good thoughts that things would work out for me. Needless to say, I was a little floored that a complete stranger would ever be that generous of their time and thoughts.

We chatted for a bit and as it turns out Stu is heading back to the Midwest for the summer and I wish him the best of luck. It amazes me the kindness of some people and how even the littlest things can make such a difference in someone's day.

Stu, I'm glad the bike is working out for you, and thanks again for your generosity and kindness.

-humbled jonathon

Working on the pitch...

It's Sunday, just after 4:00, I've been up since 6:00, and we're still working on the pitch...ugh.

I always complained that the agencies I worked for put pitches off till the last minute, but now I realize it's because it is how we all learned. Doesn't look like this paradigm will be shifting any time soon - oh well.

-burnt out jonathon

Riding the Bus II: WTF?!

I hopped on the train home yesterday, earlier than normal, so that I could get home in time to go for a jog and then work on a class project. In hindsight, this might have been a mistake; let me explain why. As I mentioned in my last post about public transit, I get on at the ends of the line so I was easily able to find a comfortable seat and got situated for the 20-minute ride to West Portal.

It wasn't too long before the train was pretty full, and as usual, people were pushing and shoving their way onto an already crowded train with little regard for others. The doors finally closed and we made our way to Montgomery station where more people pushed and shoved their way onto a now full train. This is when things started to go downhill.

Apparently, someone behind me was either hit or kicked or leered at in a funny enough way that it would cause them to punch the offender in the mouth. The altercation between the two guys spilled out onto the platform as people scrambled to get out of their way. They circled each other once or twice and there was some shoving, but in typical fashion no more punches were thrown. The puncher got back on the train while the punchee stood in the doorway yelling for him to get off the train and take his beating.

The punchee yelled obscenities at the puncher saying that if he was going to start something that he needed to get off the train so they could finish it. Needless to say, the puncher was now mum about the whole thing and remained with his feet firmly planted on the train - the punchee didn't make any attempt to grab him. This went on for about 10 minutes with other passengers getting increasingly frustrated. Other passengers got involved by yelling at each of them to get off the train so that the rest of us could leave - it was like a high school fight only less fighting and less maturity overall.

Eventually the cops showed up and took both men off the train in cuffs and order was restored. The train got moving again - still full - and made it through the next few stops with nothing more than the usual: people trying to file onto a full train.

I finally made it to West Portal about 30 minutes later than anticipated only to realize that I had forgotten my keys at the office - d'oh! Well, at least the prize fight was somewhat entertaining...

-taking the "under" on the guy with the busted lip jonathon

BIG Change

WARNING: Mom, if you're reading this, you may want to stop now...

I am doing something I never thought that I would do - I am buying a motorcycle. "What!?" you may be asking...yup, I said it, I'm buying a bike and there's nothing you can do to stop me.

I've been shopping around for about a month now and have finally decided that I'm going to do it - I'm going to get a Kawasaki Ninja 250R from Golden Gate Motorcycles. A lot of people have said, "that's a girl's bike!" While I will concede that a full 1/3 of 250R purchasers are women, that doesn't necessarily mean that it is a bad bike. Hell, I've never ridden anything more than a bicycle, so why would I want to buy a 1000cc bike right out of the gate? I need something that I can get comfortable on and learn how to ride safely, plus it's only $3,499 new.

I've signed up for motorcycle safety classes with the Bay Area Motorcycle Training School which will take place at the end of May and I'm getting really excited. The school puts you on small bikes like the Ninja and teaches you how to ride properly and safely. You get classroom experience and two days of "range" time - though my classes start at 6:45 AM, ugh.

At this point, I've thought about it all and have planned it pretty precisely. The goal is to sell the car within the next two months (not necessary) so I don't have to renew the insurance. The Kawasaki Go Green Sales Event ends at the end of June so I'll still be able to take advantage of the financing deals they are running - the timing couldn't be better. Once the car is gone, I'll probably also sign up for ZipCar for those times when I need more than two seats.

If you know anyone that wants a great car for a biodiesel project or SVO conversion, I have a 1979 Mercedes 300D. It's an awesome car...but you don't take my word for it, come drive it!

The bike will mainly be for commuting to and from work which is nice because I won't have to rely on transit anymore, though I won't be able to listen to my morning radio show or drink my coffee on the way to work anymore. I have free parking available to me, the bike gets excellent gas mileage, and the insurance is ultimately cheaper, so I'll actually be saving money and can finally start putting a dent in paying off my student loans - yay!

So here is what it looks like (right color too).

I know a lot of you may be thinking that this looks a lot like a "crotch-rocket" and that I'll look completely ridiculous on it, but it really isn't, and I won't. ...ok well it does look a little ricey, but the seating position is very upright and the bike's low height allows me to put my feet firmly on the ground when at a stop.

If you think this is all silly, then put it in context of me wanting to help the environment. I am reducing congestion, purchasing a vehicle that gets great gas mileage, and has reduced emissions. I'm not doing this for me, I'm doing this for the trees!

-tree hugging, biker jonathon

Riding the Bus

There is more than one bus in the city. If you miss one, there is a good possibility that there will be another one coming along in the next few minutes. Additionally, a bus can only carry so many people; if you can't fit comfortably on one, why not wait for that next one?

These are questions that I ask myself every time I get on a train or bus in the city. Fortunately, I am usually getting on a bus or train at the end of the line so I'm pretty much guaranteed a seat or at least a little standing room. But it is amazing to watch everyone fighting for a seat, or trying to cram in the door at once, or even trying to squeeze that last person in before the doors close.

When did we reduce ourselves to cattle; do we realize that we are traveling like this intentionally? Maybe I'll just walk from now on...though that would likely be less entertaining.

Moo.

-moo cow jonathon

Vendors

< rant >
Working in the world of advertising has exposed me to a number of things such as the billable hour, working until four in the morning, working on Saturdays, caffeine addiction, and many other wonderful things. One thing that I could do without, however (other than clients), is vendors. Sure, my life would be infinitely more complicated if I had to rely on solely on my internal teams to accomplish everything, but at least there would be some form of accountability.

I simply don't get it, when my clients come calling, I respond as fast as I can and with as complete an answer as I can - what can I say, I'm a hell of an account exec. I take my job seriously (that's why I'm blogging mid-day...), I work hard, and get rewarded by both my supervisors and my clients. That's how the client, vendor relationship works - I am a vendor for our clients. Why can't our vendors treat me the same way?

A call on Monday should get a return call on Monday (or at least an email), not a call on Wednesday. Simple requests should be easily handled, not made to be more complicated. And why are they always quick to remind you when you are 20 days post job completion and that invoices are due in 10 days? Ugh.

I have found in my experience that booth vendors and web vendors are the worst offenders. If you need a booth built for a tradeshow or an online/interactive piece constructed, it almost seems that you'd be better off doing it yourself. Sure, you might need to acquire a few new skills and work some longer hours, but wouldn't it be worth saving yourself the headaches of dealing with the vendors and, hell, you've worked till four in the morning before anyway...

This, of course, is not to say that there aren't great vendors out there...they just seem to be increasingly hard to find. So my advice to you? Start shopping for vendors early in the process, and never settle on price alone...'tis not worth it.
< /rant >

-ranting jonathon

World Record?!

I have always thought that it would be really cool to hold a world record. You know, be the best person on the planet at doing something...anything. There are world records for the fastest land-speed (currently held by Thrust SSC at 763mph over one mile), the highest altitude parachute jump (though we'll see if this guy can break that), and even the fastest human.

But let's be honest, any of those feats can be accomplished with the right amount of dedication, training, engineering knowhow, or simple will and determination. There are some world records, however, that defy the imagination in ways that surfing an 85-foot wave can't touch...and in some cases can only be accomplished with the correct amount of inebriation.

World record for sheep shearing:
560 in eight hours - Jimmy Clark

Most t-shirts worn at once:
224 - Charlie Williams

Beer speed-drinking record:
1 liter in 1.3 seconds - Steven Petrosino

World's biggest cookie:
102 feet wide and over 40,000lbs - Immaculate Baking Company

Most snails attached to your face for one minute (kinda gross):
8 - Alistair Galpin

Oldest male stripper (very gross):
Age 67 - Bernie Barker

And then there's this guy who currently holds over 80 world records, including Duct taping a person to a wall:
2:38 - Ashrita Furman

So, has this post gotten you interested in setting a record of your own? If so, there is a way to fast track yourself into the annals of human stupidity, er, history - The Guiness Book Fast Track!

If you do decide to go forward with your quest for fame and glory, be sure to contact me so that I can take pictures - I'm sure that they would make another great blog post.

-broken record jonathon

More Traps!

I know, I know - I said that I was going to post up pictures from Long Beach, but I just haven't had the time yet. I'm sorry. While I put together the album, here are some more of the traps of life from our Southeast Asian art friend.

So everyone knows, I've also got some other great articles coming up as well - I'm actually planning ahead instead of "writing from the hip" - go figure.

In the meantime, enjoy these next three "traps" and have a great weekend; I know I'm going to.

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Trap #5: The Trap of Giving up on Love

Love makes the world go round. We have all had disastrous love experiences. By letting that pain you felt during that hard time will only make your life less of an adventure. If you keep trying, you will find a person who you love, and who you would die for, and a person who would die for you, and who loves you. Keep looking, Keep loving, keep searching. You’ll find her. Do not let the pain of the yesterday hold you back today. NEVER give up on love. Love is why your alive today. Your parents probably loved each other at some time if they do not love each other today. Think about it. Someone has loved you, return that love to the world. Hate will only drag you down and destroy your life. This is why I discourage the “jerk” approach to women. To Love is to live. So keep on living.

Trap #6: The Trap of not Fighting

Ever want to give up? Of course. We all want to give up. We all want the easy way out. If you give up every time you will fail to live your life to its fullest. Keep fighting through it. You’ll get out. I promise you’ll get out. Whether it is by death or with life, you will get out. You must keep trying to achieve what you want. If you give up now, all the time you spent yesterday will have been in vain, and tomorrow will be forever changed. Keep fighting through the toughest times of your life, they will pass. Keep going!!!

Trap #7: The Trap of Fighting

This is contradictory to the trap above. What you must understand is that you must achieve equilibrium between fighting and not fighting. You must know when you have been defeated. If you fight for something you will never achieve then all the time you spent will be spent in vain. Fight for the possible, not for the impossible. You must know when to throw in the towel, and when you do, hold your chin high and have pride because you did one of the hardest things to do, admit defeat. We all lose in life. We also win every now and then too. The key is to treat every loss as a victory, because for every loss you encounter, you will leave the situation with more experience. Is that not a victory? It’s always win win. You have to learn to stop fighting for the impossible and to spend that time doing something else, rather than wasting your time for something you will never achieve.

- jonathon, et al.